Sperm Syndromes

Again we have delved into a Pandora's box of trending colloquialisms and urbanese while strengthening the subtext of misogyny, homophobia, gender, cultural and racial bias. It is no wonder society is hanging on by a moral thread.

According to a Washington Post breath-halting article entitled; "The unbelievable rise of single Motherhood in the last 50 years.

reveals an incline in single motherhood in white and black single-family homes. However, black single moms under 18 or just a few years over 18 seemed to escalate inept skills in parenting. While a percentage of white single moms in the same age demographic are less, even though drug addicted, dropouts and recurring felons or ex-offenders. Black single mothers, unfortunately, are fighting a seemingly losing battle-well with their child’s or children’s fathers’ overpopulating the prisons, jails, trap houses and unemployment statistics due to felonies and worse.

Here lays the foundation of why the trending “sperm donor,” shout outs and demeaning social media post, public retorts are crippling and poisoning our black community and culture. Though the consensus of black men being less than the typical “American Dad,” this is not a new dilemma. Black slaves, coloreds, and negroes were just as absent; be it through violent lynchings, death or fulfilling sexual intimidation or manipulation by slave owners. Colored and Negro women were subjected to raising their employers' children as well as their own. The continuing saga of the infamous baby-daddy stigma continues infesting the Black American culture with a vengeance.

So how did we get to the “sperm donor,” labeling? Well, angry and deceived black and some white and minority women are fed-up with premillennial and millennial “deadbeat” dads. Well, might I park the meat of this article, and make a pit-stop of acknowledgment? White working corporate dads who never spend quality time with their in-house children, or are up on their alimony but absent in face-to-face terms of endearment are better than black dads in prison or stuck in an assembly line of baby-mamas? Just asking. Moving on….varoom!

The truth of the matter is; sleeping with your homegirls baby-daddy or venturing into the land of “turnt up,” one-nighters is as dangerous to both parties as to one’s children asleep on their babysitters-homegirls couch or their baby daddy's twin beds. Love is free, and most of us have the gift of procreation laying dormant in our members. Actually, some women are so fertile if they look at a man too long they’re pregnant. As well as the “Maury Povich,” debacle is as tired as a migrant worker during watermelon season.

In closing let me share one motivating and hopefully encouraging paragraph. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But...slow down yolo-young, thirsty-thirties, flirting-forties; sister-girls. It’s not a disgrace to carry a child. God regulates and nominates which womb a child shall be conceived. Whether the circumstances were less than honorable or unintended, incestuous or the result of a brutal rape, God still predestined the womb of choice. The circumstances of pre-conception may be overwhelming and unfair. However, of all the women who are paying for fertility drugs to no avail or unable to conceive, why would God allow an innocent woman to bear the disgust of conception from a careless or deceitful male being? Free-will? Well, the Bible declares that the first earthly mother lost her second beloved son at the violent hands of her firstborn seed. So, why did God allow Abel’s conception? Or why did God allow Lot’s daughters to become pregnant by deceiving their father into a drunken stupor and laying with him? Why are some women unable to conceive-those financially stable, emotionally and mentally stable; single or married-while others who society has deemed unfit are creating life like nobody’s business. Yes, the history of humanity is less than charming or acceptable by our fickle moral standards or our inconsistent compassion. However, God in all His infinite wisdom and knowledge compared to our finite foolishness paints a relevant picture we who are clueless to His actual trinity cannot comprehend. God is the author of our genesis and cessation at the same time...simultaneously.
Demeaning God’s plan or carrier of His chosen male vessel should be planned or accepted as His will with either thanksgiving or trust. Prayerfully all births profit humanity, though some have challenged our faith in God, and broken the very core of our fragile lives. Whether a child’s father that's if one knows beyond a shadow of doubt who’s the child’s father- is less than current on child support or even acknowledges his seed, should not be the catalyst of a mother’s anger and resentment. Especially when 99% of today’s mothers knowingly had consensual sex, hoping beyond all hope for a two-parent homelife. The mental and emotional attache one continues to burden the next relationship with or carry through life harbor mental anguish and disease awaiting exposure and spiritual birth. It’s disheartening for two-three, four or five plus siblings to wallow hourly, daily, monthly or yearly in a scorned or bitter mother’s sorrow, as she mercilessly rants on-and-on about their different fathers maliciously and falsely labeled as “sperm donors.”

Think of the image young, pre-teen daughters paint in their mind’s eye or the generational curse we acquire and continue to pour into a child’s spiritual context and future. We have yet, as a culture to cease speaking death into our children and begin to speak life into dry and bitter situations which we continue to feed. I submit we take a long hard look in our moral mirrors and cease to point penises and fingers at each other and start taking responsibility for our immature and selfish actions. The government assistance program was instituted to feed and house our children. How they were conceived is mute. Our dependency on assistance has become a mental stain in the loveless hearts of society. All children matter, yet it is the immoral fiber we continue to weave and blame “no good men,” “thots,” baby-mommas, and other such demeaning labels which stifle growth. We would rather garner labels and saturate social media with worse trash talk than neo-nazis and blood-thirsty white supremacist. There are way too many stigmas which we have signed sealed and delivered with “woe-is-me,” rhetoric and this less-than-a-man trash talk, and “she ain’t squat,” belittlement than prayers of submission to outgrow ourselves.

Blessings,

Tina Wilson (writing as May Will-Author)