Trial Date

No one truly likes trials, be it the court of law, family court, traffic court or the trials of life. As a matter of fact, the scriptures declare the trial mandate for Christians and believers of God will strengthen our spiritual resolve. However true this declaration has proven, I'm not convinced I will ever have an affinity for enduring the hardships of trials or tribulations. Though the benefits are worth its weight in gold, human nature thrives by comfortability and familiarity. Who wouldn't rather awaken to positive vibes, good reports, and green lights all the way to work? Or, even have an eighty-five percent daily rate of positive interactions. No raving lunatics cutting you off in traffic, or nasty associates manning the register at your neighborhood businesses.

Newsflash, even non-believers have to endure the negative with the positive day-to-day hoopla! Which brings me to the topic of trials and why it's so important to define, endure and process our trial dates. Unfortunately, we don't have the luxury of keeping a calendar handy to remind us of these unrelenting mandates. It's imperative to remain diligent and prepared for seasons of uncertainty. It's as though the sky opens up and an out pouring of trouble rains on the happiest of days. The context of a bad day becomes indiscernible and hopeless.

Defining the cause of chaotic episodes is futile and time-consuming. You know the "why is this happening to me," rants at the private pity-party. Most times our season of unexplained hardship may be the debt we owe for past transgressions or the consequences of sin. God has a way of setting our souls in order to deliver us from our corruptible selves. Here's a throwback scenario; "your income tax check is garnished due to your student loan being in default." Oh, the devastation is real, and we cry foul! Yet, when we had the opportunity to setup a payment plan, we procrastinated the callback and never sent back the application. Is this a trial; NO! Absolutely not. The bible declares; "trials works patience, and patience experience." The irrefutable means of strengthening our spirit man is not or should be viewed as punishment, but rather earthly enrichment. When we know to do good, and do good then our good days will outweigh our bad days during our trial dates.

Endurance during impossible situations is one of the hardest feats to accomplish. How can one endure working an 8-12 hour day when they've just suffered the loss of a loved one or delivered an eviction notice? You pace your feelings, one breath at a time while seeking a God that grieves with us, and understands our broken hearts. We seek refuge in God's Word and lean on those friends, loved ones or our spouses who are assigned to endure assigned battles as co-partners and interceding warriors. It takes a strong will to begin the healing process while rehabbing difficult transitions. It takes prayer, not ceremonial or repetitive quips but earnest heartfelt and real communication with Jesus. We all differ in how we approach a "bad day," or a difficult choice. However, we can all experience the same encounter with a loving God who truly cares. Whether you feel all warm and fuzzy or just recognize the supernatural strength to proceed, though your heart may feel weary you can still make it!

And finally processing the fact none are exempt from the will of God. We must all bear a season of burdens, darkness, uncertainty, and hardship. However knowing that we will reap a "bountiful harvest," of tried and true wisdom to endure the next season, and to share our testimony with someone else who may be confronted with the same hardship or trial. There's nothing more loving than to warn, encourage or strengthen a broken heart with a "how I got over," testimony. Trials come, and trials go. But Jesus will never leave us comfortless.

May Will (7/17

Praise Reflections

"Man, I tell Ya!" God is too good to me, to us. I wouldn't know where to start in honorable mentions when it concerns how I was able to overcome chronic diseases, chronic anxiety, chronic this and that. My story of sweet redemption starts similar to most Christians. However, there wasn't a magic wand or even a sincere desire coupled with strong will power which led to my victorious outcome. It was a combination of faith, approaching temptation with a restored obedience to not succumb to ruthless, careless people, and situations. And a daily focus of what God's Word declared of me; I am an overcomer. I can succeed in life and overrule failure. I can visualize an honorable purview of my future. No matter the consequences of disobedience, we all have a choice to start from scratch. Even if the scratch is from a correctional facility, a hospital bed or a bad relationship. As I look back in my personal closet of shame, I can attest to many opportunities which availed themselves for me to regain a life of decency. However, that old devil was always there to remind me of man's unforgiving protocols.

This is where life becomes real and very fragile. I remember starting at a point where clothes, livelihood, shelter, and normalcy were void and seemingly impossible in that near-future. It was only when I kicked pride to the curb and resorted to homeless shelters, and self-help programs, and slowly regained communication with my immediate family. Coming from a stable and decent background, with a dash of teen rebellion afforded me a foundation of morals and integrity to build upon. Every contemptuous thought I had concerning my parents harsh-so I thought-rules and guidelines came back not to haunt me, but to serve as a guide to a life, even now I'm proud of. 

Now I can stare at the image reflecting back at me in my mirror of self-evaluation and truly see the amazing works of God. I see how my determination to succeed wasn't quite enough. I needed spiritual fuel consistently to guide my footsteps. I needed mentorship from women and men of integrity and the sole assignment of assisting me in realizing God purposed me to overcome every failed test. Now I can speak from the amazing experience which started out as moments so dark I actually considered suicide, much to God's chagrin. Now I can share a pure testimony of supernatural strength. From the hospital bed to the court dates, to the dangerous relationships, to those health crises which left me disabled, to wholeness and miracles. 

Truly I can find a praise in the worst of times, as I look back. Even when I felt alone, God always filled my heart with a sweet memory of hope and better days to come. Those moments of fulfillment are always there for each of us when we realize they never left.

Wander the Wonder

I wonder why, when,

Where my dreams birthed

The right to own Me.

I wander the wonder of 

Unclaimed lands of fruitful visions

Set to harvest ripe purpose...

Dreams...My favorite

Me.

No longer to wander the

Wonders of obscure them,

No...this amazing Me.

Wonderful Me.

Sona Wilae 2017

The Dance

Eclectic and faint a lonely sunrise

As a backdrop horizon surmises a smile,

Arrayed in kaleidoscoped clouds softly hued.

A glorious triad fulfilled quest flares

Its entourage of dichotomy suspended

To earth’s finite...blinded in love and mission.

Dance of the autumn leaves, bow to

Rhapsody fusioned in summer breezes.

The cosmos two-step in planetary

Greatness…

Waltz to His sovereign flow of life

Impaled to redeeming satisfaction.

Aggrandize your destiny Earth.

Rhythmize a heart beat. Dance.

Sona Wilae 2017

Circus Chronicles

You know people are a trip! Now that's a throwback colloquialism only a baby-boomer could love. No matter the latest trending topic, society as a whole will racially dissect media sound bites, cultural insignificance, and social media rhetoric. This type behavior is as old as time, only now the misinformation travels faster. The latest scuttlebutt concerning the forty-fifth commander-in-chief is beyond comical with a cup of evil and a dash of psychosis. America viewed the eight year Obama administration leadership as a circus-de-soul. Not to say every bill passed or policy reviewed was unfairly scrutinized by the public or the opposing pundits, however, the outcry of verifying the president's ethnicity and citizenship became the most mundane of political affronts. This administration is synonymous to an individual who forgot to unpack bigotry, lies, misogynistic ideals, racism and idiocracy for their four-year staycation at the White House. America has become a twenty-first-century amoral wasteland. Despite the clear and present danger of greenhouse gas emissions and the earth's implosion of environmental unnatural disasters, the urgency of commandeering this vehicle of injustice driving Americans to the brink of insanity has become tantamount to lifesaving vaccines.

Though impeachment with extreme prejudice and psychiatric reevaluations are warranted and for the good of the planet, it seems #45 tweets seem to take precedence over the countless human beings in dire need of Medicaid. Every subject matter unrelated to making America great has become a senseless pursuit of unhappiness. It is with humorless disregard for my right to public speech that I share this blog. I am as serious as life itself when I consider how disappointed I am with why America chose to unanimously elect the most controversial and appalling business mogul to ever disgrace the cover of Newsweek. If the consensus of white-black-conservative-racially-cultural-insensitive-America was to punish Obama-supporters by creating a circus of misfits and under the guise of a pathetic ringmaster, so be it. But, don't expect sensible-America to purchase tickets to the "biggest show-flop on earth" or market your anti-poor-people propaganda.

There aren't any treasured spoils of war after this breach of democracy or the republic by which "we" stand. Well, unless you consider stupidity and depreciated integrity a commodity.

Kickin It!

As the holiday gracefully concluded it's shift, a new day of challenges reported as ordered. Today's list of demands; eating, watching the 1st 48 reruns, calling in a refill, updating FB-you know the important stuff. My new normal is taking one positive step at a time. As my post op journey proceeded with caution my purview of life paralleled a few range of motion exercises. The cause and effect of executing a "simple kick," of my recovering leg strengthen sleeping muscles while alerting my ball and socket joint that the new "kid on the block," needs a kickstart.

Today started with only a minor interruption, ELECTRICITY! Due to equipment failure, our block was cast into the dark ages. Florida hot is not the season to suffer such cruelty, however after, like forever, the service was restored. Thankfully so, remember yesterday's blog admonishment on maintaining your PT schedule at all cost, well rescheduling was just a speed dial away.

So my routine proceeded without fail and I retired for the evening with a well of analogies. Tomorrow brings a day of business and medical updates, nursing visits, and my progress continue to take a life of its on, whether I choose to participate or not. Mainly because my heart is strong in achieving the goal of regaining a much-needed aspect; walking without debilitating pain! My mind has joined forces with faith in God and wholeheartedly I "run this race." Next stop squatsville! Yay!

Tips To Heel

Just wanted to share a few tips on TKR healing. Primarily every post-op patient desire to reach the stars when executing rehab exercises is a textbook expectation. There are entirely too many variables in each of our lives or medical histories to patent a generic action and response table of contents.
I've written in previous blogs the importance of healing properly and in most cases, pain or the reluctance of the joint to communicate with their neighboring community of muscles can delay progress. Our all-knowing brain Central has provided a guidebook and each system abides and harmonizes well, until post evasive procedures. It's as if tissues and organs go on strike. Expect delays in the #2 department, or depression, change in appetite and for life not to make amends because you've invited a surrogate member to cohabitate in your body. However, keep your rehabilitation at the forefront of your to-do list and if humanly possible #1 on your list of priorities.

Typically prior to surgery our ability to walk with or without assistance required trained concentration ingrained in our memory banks. Life has divine opportunities to ensure that most human beings will suffer major overhauls or experience upgrades to our body's our spirit and mind. And with this process as adults, we don't always relish re-education of an ability we may have taken for granted or prefer not to change.
So, in keeping with exercise table of contents, I've advanced to what I've dubbed "rock-n-roll fame", which is also a fitting byline for this particular blog. I've advanced to standing in place and balancing on the tip of my toes as high as possible, followed by rolling back on my heels. The objective is to maintain balance on the recovering knee as with the unaffected side. Sound familiar?
Metaphorically, we may all experience tip-toeing through life as delicately as possible, not daring to disturb peacefulness. Stand tall and if necessary stand on the tip of your toes to get a better view of your destination, or to reach that box of noodles way in the back of the second shelf pantry.

In closing, I'd just like to add a cup of inspirational to mentally digest. It's overwhelming when attempting to balance our will to recover with a weakened support system or assuming your healing journey will not include delays, setbacks or a guaranteed date of completion.
The goal is not to exceed my former abilities which my arthritic knee failed execute without pain or further damage but to regain a reasonable level of betterment.

Mark Time...March

From ROTC marching drills to the elite and flawlessly executed marching drills of Marines, marking time ensures a unit will mobilize simultaneously, or movements are synced with mental or verbal commands. Today's PT included an exercise straight from the archives of marching drills, so to speak. The sole purpose of any therapy, in my case physical recall, is to restore a delicate chain of command. Each muscle group associated with a simple movement requires coordination, which requires impulses of cooperation.

Here lays the present dilemma; the hamstring of the affected leg refusing to mark time with the opposite rising-bending knee. However, the brain being the HNIC will continue to feed the information until that particular squad follows suit. The good news is the uncooperative actions of the hamstring are temporary due to the knowledge of how to execute said action lays dormant awaiting that "ah-ha," moment.

With all the various drama involved in the recuperating, life still continues to introduce or reintroduce itself in the guise of zero balances and late payments, spouse medical emergencies and just the sheer gall of attempting to move forward with prearranged plans, interrupted by an unscheduled negative tantrum. Despite the positive and inspirational quotes one may store up for the roughest of times, repetitive reminders in the verse of a song, or a fav biblical quote sometimes surfaces after the meltdown. Such was the case today when I had to choose between rescheduling my session due to circumstances beyond our control or weather the storm while completing my commitment to physically recover like my life depends on it. With all the endurance involved in my road to redemption, there is still the self-care I must administer with courage and here's that subject matter again; timing. I was instructed to remove the surgical bandages after five days. Suffice it to say, my husband was a "no show," LOL! He and ninety-nine percent of humanity cannot stomach the site of countless staples tucked safely under bandages. The surgical site, of course, looked great; medically. No infection, and delayed affection from my husband made the bandage change perfect. Bless his heart.

Walking Tall

Ambulate with your shoulders back, relax your back, heel to toe while looking straight ahead, as you take moderate breaths. It takes painstaking effort and undivided focus to redeem a normal gait. Rehabilitating improperly to avoid pain while kicking proper technique to the curb is a waste of time and energy. It's vital to accept the reality of intermittent pockets of pain, however, the pain lessens as you commandeer your mental faculties and determine to execute your exercises with strict attention to detail. I'd rather slowly progress properly than rush through sessions and inadvertently succumb to bad habits which may very well lead to avoidable corrective surgeries.

My first rule of thumb was to "listen like my life depended on it." Despite the meaningless scuttlebutt of mean and uncaring physical therapist, I garnered an impressive level of respect for the profession if for no other reason than to hone in the necessary skills required to improve my recovery.

I'm currently wrestling with anxiousness. I know I have the mental capacity required to continue to improve, but my rehabilitation window differs from my body's timeframe to readjust itself. I'm learning certain muscles respond defiantly if they feel bullied or harassed. I basically must set up a meeting with other muscles and sign an agreement of coordination. Actually, my left tibia and femur bone remain civil after a minor reconstruction but caused "mad" friction with the "quad squad." Go Figure. Well, tomorrow we'll resume talks before our weekly summit and hopefully agree on a peace treaty.

Home, No Garden

Ah...the pleasures of independence and the soon retirement of the bedside commode call for a celebration while completing the first at home physical therapy calls for a much-desired nap! So with that being said, let me conclude day three of many to come.

But let us not digress in terms of post-surgery protocol. There are various extremes which must be achieved in order to heal, but more importantly, heal properly. The body has a God-given mandate which tries desperately to stay on schedule. In my case knowing my knee will heal doesn't exempt me from establishing schedules which will promote wholeness in a reasonable amount of time. Though we all heal differently or defiantly due to "pre-this," or "post that" the physiology of the human anatomy maintains its basic format. Undergoing major surgery requires intense focus and commitment to follow instructions and research before, during and after one of the most pivotal decisions some of us will ever experience personally. The TKR plan required my signature, insurance, a coach, knowledgeable care-team and the heart to endure any possible complications. With every one of life's decisions comes the possiblities of failure which can be rectified or not. So, upon arrival to the hospital I mentally challenged which mishap would not be worth the risk. Afterall my diagnoses of "osteoarthritis," had reached its full degenerative potential. The pain was beyond relief and belief, and after nine long excruiating bouts with injections in both knees, arthoscopic surgery, wheelchairs, exercises, weight loss, The blessing offered as a last resort to restore a vital member of the musculoskeletal system.

Skeletal Muscle. Skeletal muscle is the only voluntary muscle tissue in the human body—it is controlled consciously. Every physical action that a person consciously performs (e.g. speaking, walking, or writing) requires skeletal muscle. The function of skeletal muscle is to contract to move parts of the body closer to the bone that the muscle is attached to. Most skeletal muscles are attached to two bones across a joint, so the muscle serves to move parts of those bones closer to each other. *INNERBODY.COM COPYRIGHT (C) 1999 - 2017 HOWTOMEDIA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 

 Hopefully your physical therapist will critique your personality and tweak a recuperation plan conducive your personal checklist of achievements. If you plan to complete your treatment plan with confidence and minimal "whining," and ensure your adventure has a happy ending then the ordeal is well worth the effort.

At this present time I have endured a bathroom visit, versus the bedside commode, completed my first home physical therapy and properly completed my strengthening exercises. My goal is to recuperate correctly, without the "peg-leg ambulation," or improper gait. Looking forward to MOVING FORWARD!

What Now-Day 2

At this juncture, of the post-surgery sequel, the relevance of extended support from friends or family isn't as vital as support provided by household members. My husband has provided exemplary support due to his experience and victory over recent health battles. The pet-babies are as confused as should be expected, even going so far as to give me the "stank eye."

My first full day home became blurred lines of the day of the week or my pain scale level. However, the day had a mission to complete; agencies and healthcare providers called or visited to ensure my sleepy naps were delightfully interrupted. A visit to our bathroom was in its planning stages and I was psyched. My caretaker is a handsome fella with a great physique and he smells great, however, I was anxious to visit our personal space of solitude. My caretaker's stress has lessened due to my agreement to call if I need anything, I mean anything, however, I'm more determined than ever to advance my acuity level. Thus far I travel on a street named; safe. Despite being independent I'm actually more comfortable being the caretaker. I"m a former medical assistant, patient care tech, and nursing assistant, and a born nurturer.

Well, I guess I'll conclude this particular blog of events and nonexistent anomalies with a good day and a pleasant evening. Apparently no-news, in this case, is good news. Oh and goodie-goodie gum drop, tomorrow is my first home rehab. "Go Figure!"