Sperm Syndromes

Again we have delved into a Pandora's box of trending colloquialisms and urbanese while strengthening the subtext of misogyny, homophobia, gender, cultural and racial bias. It is no wonder society is hanging on by a moral thread.

According to a Washington Post breath-halting article entitled; "The unbelievable rise of single Motherhood in the last 50 years.

reveals an incline in single motherhood in white and black single-family homes. However, black single moms under 18 or just a few years over 18 seemed to escalate inept skills in parenting. While a percentage of white single moms in the same age demographic are less, even though drug addicted, dropouts and recurring felons or ex-offenders. Black single mothers, unfortunately, are fighting a seemingly losing battle-well with their child’s or children’s fathers’ overpopulating the prisons, jails, trap houses and unemployment statistics due to felonies and worse.

Here lays the foundation of why the trending “sperm donor,” shout outs and demeaning social media post, public retorts are crippling and poisoning our black community and culture. Though the consensus of black men being less than the typical “American Dad,” this is not a new dilemma. Black slaves, coloreds, and negroes were just as absent; be it through violent lynchings, death or fulfilling sexual intimidation or manipulation by slave owners. Colored and Negro women were subjected to raising their employers' children as well as their own. The continuing saga of the infamous baby-daddy stigma continues infesting the Black American culture with a vengeance.

So how did we get to the “sperm donor,” labeling? Well, angry and deceived black and some white and minority women are fed-up with premillennial and millennial “deadbeat” dads. Well, might I park the meat of this article, and make a pit-stop of acknowledgment? White working corporate dads who never spend quality time with their in-house children, or are up on their alimony but absent in face-to-face terms of endearment are better than black dads in prison or stuck in an assembly line of baby-mamas? Just asking. Moving on….varoom!

The truth of the matter is; sleeping with your homegirls baby-daddy or venturing into the land of “turnt up,” one-nighters is as dangerous to both parties as to one’s children asleep on their babysitters-homegirls couch or their baby daddy's twin beds. Love is free, and most of us have the gift of procreation laying dormant in our members. Actually, some women are so fertile if they look at a man too long they’re pregnant. As well as the “Maury Povich,” debacle is as tired as a migrant worker during watermelon season.

In closing let me share one motivating and hopefully encouraging paragraph. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. But...slow down yolo-young, thirsty-thirties, flirting-forties; sister-girls. It’s not a disgrace to carry a child. God regulates and nominates which womb a child shall be conceived. Whether the circumstances were less than honorable or unintended, incestuous or the result of a brutal rape, God still predestined the womb of choice. The circumstances of pre-conception may be overwhelming and unfair. However, of all the women who are paying for fertility drugs to no avail or unable to conceive, why would God allow an innocent woman to bear the disgust of conception from a careless or deceitful male being? Free-will? Well, the Bible declares that the first earthly mother lost her second beloved son at the violent hands of her firstborn seed. So, why did God allow Abel’s conception? Or why did God allow Lot’s daughters to become pregnant by deceiving their father into a drunken stupor and laying with him? Why are some women unable to conceive-those financially stable, emotionally and mentally stable; single or married-while others who society has deemed unfit are creating life like nobody’s business. Yes, the history of humanity is less than charming or acceptable by our fickle moral standards or our inconsistent compassion. However, God in all His infinite wisdom and knowledge compared to our finite foolishness paints a relevant picture we who are clueless to His actual trinity cannot comprehend. God is the author of our genesis and cessation at the same time...simultaneously.
Demeaning God’s plan or carrier of His chosen male vessel should be planned or accepted as His will with either thanksgiving or trust. Prayerfully all births profit humanity, though some have challenged our faith in God, and broken the very core of our fragile lives. Whether a child’s father that's if one knows beyond a shadow of doubt who’s the child’s father- is less than current on child support or even acknowledges his seed, should not be the catalyst of a mother’s anger and resentment. Especially when 99% of today’s mothers knowingly had consensual sex, hoping beyond all hope for a two-parent homelife. The mental and emotional attache one continues to burden the next relationship with or carry through life harbor mental anguish and disease awaiting exposure and spiritual birth. It’s disheartening for two-three, four or five plus siblings to wallow hourly, daily, monthly or yearly in a scorned or bitter mother’s sorrow, as she mercilessly rants on-and-on about their different fathers maliciously and falsely labeled as “sperm donors.”

Think of the image young, pre-teen daughters paint in their mind’s eye or the generational curse we acquire and continue to pour into a child’s spiritual context and future. We have yet, as a culture to cease speaking death into our children and begin to speak life into dry and bitter situations which we continue to feed. I submit we take a long hard look in our moral mirrors and cease to point penises and fingers at each other and start taking responsibility for our immature and selfish actions. The government assistance program was instituted to feed and house our children. How they were conceived is mute. Our dependency on assistance has become a mental stain in the loveless hearts of society. All children matter, yet it is the immoral fiber we continue to weave and blame “no good men,” “thots,” baby-mommas, and other such demeaning labels which stifle growth. We would rather garner labels and saturate social media with worse trash talk than neo-nazis and blood-thirsty white supremacist. There are way too many stigmas which we have signed sealed and delivered with “woe-is-me,” rhetoric and this less-than-a-man trash talk, and “she ain’t squat,” belittlement than prayers of submission to outgrow ourselves.

Blessings,

Tina Wilson (writing as May Will-Author)

Spectrasonics presents: MOONCHILD - "Cure"

Skill Sets Matter

What is your skill set? What gets your blood pumping with tenacious adrenaline? You may be surprised at how random our inner workings are; be it intellectually, mentally, spiritually or physically.
Whether it's church, work or family activities, we all have a skill set which differentiates from any other ability.
Oftentimes we attempt to perfect our passions, ministry or vocational skills. However, we are born with innate abilities. Here lays the ingredients of this particular blog topic; skill set(s). Some have a natural ability to present an idea and evoke a physical response. In Christendom, it's described as a ministry or calling to evangelize. Paul the Apostle had amazing oratory abilities, however, I believe he was born with a skill set which humanity identified as "motivational speaking." Whenever the Holy Spirit has anointed a child of God to pursue a calling, it may not be physically evident but spiritually discerned by the heart God intended to receive His message or blessing. One may have the ability to sing, preach or usher however their skill set may differ. Actually, their desire may strongly oppose what church members may assume. It still bothers me when I would hear the pulpit give out ultimatums to members who choose to sit back and just enjoy the service. Just maybe their skill set is resting on Sunday. Seriously though...God assigns, anoints and strengthens. Though we have human leadership anointed to discern, God still gives us all free-will.

I've always remained active in the church environment, however lately I've experienced a few bumps in the road. Yes, despite my health woes, I still maintain a strong presence inside and outside the walls of "churches." My husband and I minister "secretly," daily. We don't post on Facebook, Twitter or prolong testimony service with yadas of who, what, when and where. Making vain assertions or announcements in overrated. God rewards every good deed. Period.
I've ministered for years and some septuagenarians and octagenarians have maintained consistent ministry and leadership roles in faith-based organizations, without pause. Maybe their skill set motivated their heart to serve, or maybe they have several callings and God allowed whichever dominant skill to operate in His kingdom. I submit that we examine the difference between callings, passions and skill sets.

Passions are deep desires which allow personal satisfaction. Callings, on the other hand, better serve God's eternal will to draw man back to Himself through earthly ministry. Skill set is notably defined as; "a person's range of skills or abilities." Innate is defined as inborn or natural. Therefore I maintain innate and skill set are synonymous when one defines their skill set and compartmentalizes this additional gift from God and activates and maintains the importance, responsibly.
Furthermore, I would rather we stir up our gifts throughout our lives and careers and not just exhaust every good and perfect gift in one setting.

Blessings,
Skilled, Saved, Gifted and Called

Seriously - This American Life, Sara Bareilles, and Leslie Odom, Jr.

The R Factor

Usually, before the week's end, my husband and I will exchange polite banter concerning religiosity or the lack thereof in social clubs disguised as non-profit ministries. The common threat to mainstream society is the ever-trending New Age rhetoric, fundamentalist power-driving doctrines of denominational founders down the throats of parishioners and during church board meetings. Where is the eternal doctrine of Jesus Christ? Not the Judaism, Hebrew-Greek early indoctrination of the Pauline writings and travels, which maintain historical and spiritual significance in New Testament core principles of the modern church, but the "come to Jesus; just now" fellowship.

The New Testament covenant and scriptural establishment of the "church," was based on one founding quote; "Matthew 16:18(KJV) And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it." Now that we are cooking with peanut oil, it behooves today's practicing or active Christian-Believer to not only search the scriptures with reliable study tools; concordance, bible dictionary, commentaries, (2-3) translated versions of the Holy Bible and most importantly the housing of the Holy Spirit and daily prayer for understanding of God's daily guidance. 

All too often our purview of  "the building of the church," is skewed. Mainly because the building of the church is already established, however, the adding to the body of Christ (church) which is paramount. 
Maintaining a youthful attendance oftentimes misleads the central focus of why we are assembling. Not just to entertain our youth, while keeping them interested in service, but to forego compromising godly principles and to nurture our youth with the Word of God in a basic setting which provides laymen terminology, not worldly tricks and colloquium rants. As the senior members must understand today's adding to the church requires compassion for those members who are either returning to sacred worship or visitors experiencing worship with a faith-based organization for the first time. Newcomers are sensitive and are subject to culture shock. So, chill with the holy-slang, and keep it, Jesus-friendly.

Christ prophesied His temporary demise and His unprecedented resurrection, as well as His second advent. Despite countless eschatologies and spiritless paradigms of conjecture and default rhetoric, the eternal key of life; "Christ the way, the truth and the life," holds heavenly residence and earthly precedence. The Risen Messiah; the same today, yesterday and forevermore. All else is as irrelevant as racism.

Tina Wilson (Writing as May Will) 2017

Politico call to action

The changing of the guard or command is as relevant as the command post. Unfortunately, the current administration, not in its entirety, but the actual commander-in-chief has the worst political savvy and politico roundtable of misfits in American history. We baby-boomers endured the Watergate scandal, Clinton scandal and the Bush-whacks, however, the total disregard for human decency and common sense is extremely lacking under #45. It’s difficult to fathom the incomprehensible weekly scandals and abnormal temperament of a sitting president. You can’t help but wonder what were his constituents mindset during the campaign debacles and election process.

To date; obscene allegations, demeaning retorts, inability to recognize international protocols; salutations, etiquette and poise, abuse of office, discriminatory remarks and worse...a list to bothersome to waste time typing. Yet we Americans continue to scroll timelines and IG stories as if Colin Kaepernick never kneeled as a show of peaceful protest to raise ignored awareness to a daily human suffering, or Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., never marched or took a fatal bullet for the sanctity of life and racial freedom for all races. The plight of kidnapped slaves and Negro-Black surviving victims of legal genocide throughout American history is beyond appalling, as well as the most ignored historical atrocity ever recorded.

Writing articles, contacting competent politicians, signing petitions, hitting the hot pavements in support of peaceful protest against racial, human and gender inequality and demanding justice for thousands upon thousands of innocent victims, falsely accused American citizens have reached beyond the boiling point and the empty pot of tolerance is smoking! Prayer and vigilant attention to detail is paramount in the hearts of the compassionate. Remaining not just social media aware of current events, or CNN/CSPAN/NEWS conscious is partial daytime entertainment at best.

In conclusion, as we all take a few conscious breaths of conscience, I would rather we vote and hold our local political officials accountable to a higher and active standard. The expiration date of inactivity and pretentious scandals is overrated and outdated. We’d rather democracy, not anarchist purviews. Solidarity of a divided nation is as taboo as a cheap date. Trouble doesn’t last always and neither will corrupt politicians. Remain relevant, readers and make your votes count.

The Me, She never met.

The hours continued to battle the scorching heat. The heat literally sucked the air from her lungs, as the daylight maintained an incredibly slow progress. It was as though her promise of defeat had finally arrived. As she sat mentally at loss of why she continued to endure daily abuse, as well as why; the heat never offered a warm breeze. There has never been an excuse so pitiful as giving up one's precious self-esteem. Yet here she sat; motionless, clueless and hopeless.
Suddenly, without warning, a prayer escaped her broken soul and hissed through her parched lips. The intoxicating motivation to stand up and walk, not back to her place of uninviting refuge but her life. A life, if only she could touch the hem of grace, she would never turn away from. If only she could hear a whisper of the sweet Holy Spirit of restoration she would crawl, limp, roll and fall at the feet of a loving source who was always there waiting with open arms. But, the lifestyle of abuse and addiction would literally chain her spirit and harness her knowledge of deliverance and sobriety as though they never met. As though they were distant strangers never passing in the night exchanging glances, even.

I guess this particular encounter resonated louder than prior to due to her age. Her first bout with failure was death-defying. Yet at the time she was certified innocent and an impressionable teenager of the almost demise. Either by the hands, feet or bullets of her abductors or her suicide by drowning, her fate was sealed. So it seemed. However, a rescuer on a bicycle became her second hero! Her first has always been Christ Jesus. The seemingly endless nights of accusations and relentless inappropriate rants was apparently that of a deranged adult, to a child. A child not even close to puberty. Nope, puberty was nowhere on the horizon, yet here she lay confused and utterly baffled as to why her nights and mornings were a fanatical blur. She was too young and bed wetting became her closest friend. While the dark hallway of shadows and tiny bladder became her fiercest nemesis!


There are so many visions of horror lying in wait. But for now, they must wait their turn. I need to breathe.

First Dates

Pretty much like the first day of school, nervousness, anticipation, and butterflies take the lead as soon as your parents drive or walk away, your first dating experience could set a lasting precedent for future dates. Or not. You may be fortunate enough to snag a "keeper," after the first date. There aren't many guarantees when you retire the platonic mode and decide to pursue intimate potentials. Do you go with the flow, or should you follow a preplanned itinerary for the evening or maintain a dating checklist? Most dating rituals vary. Some allow kissing after the first date, some won't allow holding hands, until after the wedding nuptials!
Personally, I would prefer single women of any age, whether divorced or never married set mental ground rules before accepting an invitation to dinner, which is the usual protocol. A movie is usually a bad idea until you feel 100% comfortable with a potential beau. Mind you this particular blog caters to women...so ladies let's consider the following advice article with an open mind and let the record show this article is my personal opinion.

So, how do we mentally prepare for the world of dating? Well, consider what your expectations are when it concerns getting to know a man which hopefully you have platonic knowledge of or some degree of familiarity. Be it, through a friend or social circle, or maybe you were raised in the same neighborhood. Either way, it's best not to accept invitations from "complete strangers." Anyway, we as women should totally discard the "knight in shining armor," fantasy, or this happily-ever-after childhood mindset. Primarily, a wise woman will never experiment with her feelings while pursuing the world of dating. Mentally, she is prepared to only pursue what stimulates her mental and emotional expectations. I love to laugh, so naturally, I expected my potential mate to have a sense of humor to my liking. Are you stimulated by intellectual banter? Or just general conversations about the weather, politics, religion or world affairs. What will win favor with you on the first date? Would you prefer to learn past infraction as time goes on, or would you prefer to know if there are any pending legal matters before you even consider the first date? Does denominational preference matter? What if he has children? What are your age preferences?

In my opinion, some women tend to build a house without considering the labor cost, or the building materials. Any construction which requires minimal attention to detail won't last. The first storm; there may be irreplaceable damage or the mental cost to rebuild is not worth the effort. If you aren't seeking a long-term commitment, then it's wise to keep your dating mindset in platonic mode. Until you are mentally and more importantly spiritually ready to compromise your die-hard habits...well, you may not be dating certified yet.

Next, don't ever settle for a date you aren't 100% comfortable in accepting. Blind dates are the worst of ideas, in my opinion. At least you need a pic or image of who you're spending the next hour or so with. As a matter of fact, a nice couple or few phone calls usually break the ice, if nothing else. As women, we have the right to ask questions or guide the "interview." We have the right to control what information we are willing to share. Generally, a man wants or needs to impress a woman with his qualifications, not the other way around. Too many times our need to feel wanted overrules the basic requirements for a gentleman to win favor with us.

Thirdly and possibly finally let's consider mental and emotional baggage we foolishly, or inadvertently take to the first date as the "third wheel." It's imperative that you don't compare your former beau with a potential beau, or dating partner. Especially if your former relationship was violent, overrun with promiscuity outside of the relationship, or the coparenting coping skills are less than amicable or honorable. Ladies, if you haven't completely healed to the point of forgiveness of a former mate, then please don't waste your precious time or the time of a possible great guy. You have the right to heal and step out of your zone of complacency and date. However, you should limit your first dates to a minimum. After all, you're the proverbial fish to be caught not the shark on the hunt.

May Will 9/17

May Will (Author): Lessons Not Worth Learning

May Will (Author): Lessons Not Worth Learning: Many are the lessons we all will encounter in this drama called life. Many are the disappointments, victories, heartbreaks, loss of loved on...

Lessons Not Worth Learning

Many are the lessons we all will encounter in this drama called life. Many are the disappointments, victories, heartbreaks, loss of loved ones, broken promises, deals, lies, truths...people stuff! My mind reverts back to a time when adolescence was blooming and daring. The worst of lessons a youth shouldn't but probably will encounter are the demons of sex and profanity. Every tenuous line of advice or promise made by the opposite sex, or in today's society, the same sex usually equivocates the consequences associated with pregnancy or worse; social diseases which are more deadly now than ever. Profanity is just that, a perversion of the human language. I can honestly relate to how anger is usually non-threatening if profanity is remiss. However, your point is best delivered when one excludes profanity or demeaning connotations.

Even religion has misdirected many hearts away from faith-based organizations due to the constant inferences of buying one's way into the pearly gates or to be counted as a "good Christian-protestant if you pay according to man's interpretation of tithing to the organization. Not only has the institution adulterated the very essence of giving in the name of love and all that is godly and decent, but the fees attached to becoming a member of a said denomination is costly! Don't expect the assistance of certain church auxiliaries if your dues aren't paid in full, or delinquent. The lessons some have learned according to "Profit Dr. Preacher Black," is heartbreaking! If you sow one hundred dollars into their pocket, you will reap ZILCH! However, if you give according to your heart's conviction, not your pocket's worth, then I believe God does honor sacrifice and a cheerful giver.

Remember the throwback sitcom; "Love and Marriage?" There was so much hilarity to the show's dialogue that it was really hard not to laugh at the husband's reasoning. Though every dilemma he encountered was due to his one-track mind, he never "got it!" So is the life of the skeptic, or the unrelenting "free spirit." The skeptic's mantra is calculated and pessimistic, while the free-thinker is lawless and care-free.

We don't have the luxury of learning lessons we should've have mastered in our youth when we are middle-aged. There are some lessons no life which serve no worthy purpose whatsoever. Smoking crack, or lighting a cigarette while pumping gas, or beating your children because you're angry, shoplifting as a profession, or exuding a character around children which leads to lawlessness is worth absolutely nothing worthy of bragging rights. If the truth be told, we have a society which doesn't mind exposing their secrets openly and that in itself should give us all a peep into ignorance and avoid the embarrassment at every cost. Society has ingeniously discarded every moral ingredient of wholesomeness. It actually takes a pandemic hardship to provoke humanity to help humanity. Where is the lesson?

The Bible teaches our household that every good and perfect gift; love, forgiveness, and honesty, which comes from the Father of Lights, not the Father of Lies is a matter of searching for the God of truth and eternal life! A God which is Spirit. A God who thought it not robbery to manifest His son in the guise of human flesh, to show humanity that this earthly pilgrimage is temporal, and we have a life beyond this pain and suffering. Without a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, a life of learning lessons which only reward eternal damnation, or nothingness isn't worth learning. Learn Christ and watch life reveal its true self.

May Will 9/17

May Will (Author): Blood Thicker Than Water

May Will (Author): Blood Thicker Than Water: No matter how hard I try to reconcile my feelings concerning my biological Genesis, I always revert back to the skin which embraced my tiny ...